Part 1 of Essay
Notes from an inexperienced Seattle chili taster named Frank who was visiting Texas: Recently I was honored to be selected as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a chili cook-off because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last minute and I happened to be ....

Part 2 of Essay
.... Arthur's Afterburner Chili JUDGE ONE: Smokey (barbeque?) with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang. JUDGE TWO: Exciting barbeque flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver while I shoved my way to the front of the beer line. Chili #3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick! ....