Part 1 of Essay
rastinator's Way With immaculate planning, reserve an entire afternoon for the greatest composition you will ever write. Neatly arrange all of your reference materials, and be proud of your superior organisational abilities. Put paper in your printer, all ready for the big essay you're about to start. Try to figure out j ....

Part 2 of Essay
.... again. Again. And again. Read over every e-mail you have ever gotten; maybe someone mentioned writing a paper just like yours, which would help immeasurably. Use the "word count" feature on Microsoft Word. Obsessively. Claim it's wrong, and count all the words manually to check this. Blame your lack of progress on an old junior high school English teacher, who never did teach you how to write properly. Compose a letter telling the teacher just what you think of this unfortunate situation. Compos ....