Part 1 of Essay
The other night I was takin the trash out. I heard ol' Bessie, my cow carryin on like there was a snake in her pin. I ran over and I said "Bessie, you best hush up!" That's when I seen it. It was a round hunk of metal flyin through the sky. At first I thought it was the top of my grain bin. That's where I've been keepin my ....

Part 2 of Essay
.... that poor ol' cow up to their hunk of metal spacecraft. I told `em they better put her back or I was gonna call the UFO sightings hotline on them like I did on all of their friends. I said " I know about all of your tests you run on them poor animals like Bessie cause I've been watchin' the X-Files on my big 10 inch black and white TV." Then they started gibbering back and forth again and I'll be dang if they didn't zap my old John Deere up on that ship too. That's when I got really mad. I think they understood ....